Third Grade Gay

Don't be a douche...

Four Liters...

I got a free t-shirt today for buying three 20 oz diet cokes. I bought three diet cokes because this morning on my way to work, right after buying two diet cokes at the University Bookstore, I noticed that if you buy three you get a free t-shirt. So after lunch (which consisted of a burrito and a 32 oz diet coke) I dropped by the bookstore to get my t-shirt...and three diet cokes.

Lets do some math:
2 x 20 oz = 40 oz
+ 32 oz = 72 oz
+ 60 oz (3 x 20 oz) = 132 oz

According to sciencemadesimple.net, 132 fl oz is 3.9 liters...

NEARLY FOUR LITERS???? I'm drinking too much diet coke.



P.S. They didn't have the t-shirt in my size. Not to worry, with all the diet coke I'm drinking I'll fit in my new t-shirt in no time! Ironically, the slogan on the t-shirt: "Not wasted"

I voted today

For Obama, of course. And while I kinda feel like my vote for Obama was just flushed down the Utah toilet, I feel like I made the right choice. And so does Opie:

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Seriously, who could argue with that?

In other news, I just ran across mormonsformarriage.com. What a refreshing look at the Prop 8 debate in California...and from an LDS perspective too!

Dirty Laundry

I brought my dirty laundry to work. No, I won't be asking the costume department to wash it for me...though that would be cool. It's just easier to swing by the laundromat on the way home. Besides, in a duffel bag, it looks like I'm going to work out when I'm off.

Best Advice on the Web

I am pleased to introduce the best, dare I say, ONLY place I get my advice:

http://askanyoneever.blogspot.com/

That is all.

Actual Transcript of Sarah Palin interview

(lovingly borrowed from K.M. Breay at open.salon.com)

OCTOBER 2, 2008 3:51PM

Transcript Of Palin - Couric Interview

Katie Couric - Thank you for being here, Governor Palin.

Sarah Palin - I'm all about being here.

Katie Couric - Are you and John McCain in favor of this $700 billion bailout?

Sarah Palin - I'm totally in favor of supporting the troops. My son is a troop.

Katie Couric - Right. But I'm asking about the bailout proposal for Wall Street.

Sarah Palin - You sure are. You betcha.

Katie Couric - So are you in favor of it?

Sarah Palin - Reform needs to be in the Wall Street. Not just sittin' on the curb of Wall Street. We need it in the middle of the street. Like a dead squirrel.

Katie Couric - Can we afford to give tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans right now?

Sarah Palin - Well, what do you mean by tax breaks? Like on a car? Those kinds of breaks?

Katie Couric - Less taxes.

Sarah Palin - You know, I'm really into the Bush doctrine. I'm like, supporting it.

Katie Couric - In the event that something were to happen to John McCain, are you ready to step in and be president?

Sarah Palin - I have the steadiness to be steady. I'm getting in there and really doing it. Not just not doing it. I'm not going to be like 'hey, presidency, talk to the hand.'

Katie Couric - But are you ready to become the leader of the free world?

Sarah Palin - Totally. I will totally lead the world. Any world. I will lead Mars or whatever too if those guys need a world president. Or just a Mars president. I took on the ole' boys club in Alaska and I can take it on in Mars.

Katie Couric - But I'm not asking about being president of Mars.

Sarah Palin - But I am answering about being president of Mars because a president person needs to be prepared for anything. I like to reform.

Katie Couric - I understand you only just got a passport last year.

Sarah Palin - You know, I was in Idaho for my friend Amber's wedding a ways back. Lemme tell you, Katie. We American taxpayers have a lot more in common with other countries than we think. There were Budweiser beers cans at that Idaho wedding. And Hot Pockets too. Those pizza flavored ones. Yummy.

Katie Couric - Wait, are you saying that Idaho is another country?

Sarah Palin - I'm saying they have Hot Pockets just like us. Pizza ones even. It's called 'the globalization.'

Katie Couric - But let me get this straight because I think it's important. Is Idaho another country?

Sarah Palin - You know, I'm not going to get into that right now. I think American men and women and men are focused on solutions. Not what's a country or what's not a country. Some places aren't countries. They're just things. And that's ok. Do you know the difference between a country and a thing?

Katie Couric - I'm not sure I do.

Sarah Palin - Hot Pockets.

Katie Couric - And finally, where will you and John McCain take this country?

Sarah Palin - We are going to take it somewhere really nice. A nice place where all American taxpayer people will totally be like 'hey, hello, this is really nice.'" And then we'll take it from that really nice place and over to a nicer place, a super duper nice one. More super duper nice than my cousin Marge even. And the American taxpayer people will be like 'hey, this is a super duper nice place. More than Marge even.'" Reform.

Katie Couric - Thank you, Governor.

I will follow me....wherever I may blog....la la la...

I just noticed that while I'm following a number of blogs, and have shown my utter support by subscribing to each and every one of them, NOBODY's following me. That's right! Nobody! Mind you, "following" a blog is different than reading to it or linking to it. You have to set it up under "Blogs I'm Following" or just click on the "Follow this blog" link in the blog (mine appears under "Who reads this crap".)

But don't worry, I don't feel unloved...even though my thousands of adoring readers are obviously too embarrassed to attach their names to my blog. To salve my fragile ego, I've decided to follow my own blog. Now whenever I post something new, I see it pop up in my list of new posts in the blogs I'm following and I know there's something worth reading. And whenever I look at the empty space on the right side of my blog, my picture is there.

Me: Sigh...it's good to know I'm loved.
Me: Why, thank me!
Me: I'm welcome.
(big emotional solo hug)

P.S. To entice more diligent blog readership, I've included a little hangman game up at the top. Play the game...read the blog...purge...play again... It's a little like the blog version of bulimia!

Thoughts on friendship

Today is the tenth anniversary of the death of Matthew Shepard. It seems odd that the name of someone most of us never met could evoke so much emotion. So today I was going to write about hate crimes.

In trying to find the right words, I recalled an e-mail conversation (or twelve) I had with Lisa a couple years ago during a unit on hate crimes in a theatre literature class I was taking. I didn't find the e-mails I was looking for. But I did find a plethora of thoughtful, entertaining, deeply moving, and goofy exchanges between me and my best friend. All I can say is thank God for the blessing of friendship. In all the randomness of our daily interaction with the other people bouncing around the world, who could guess that a couple lunatics who irritated each other in a cinder block bank drive-thru would, eight years later, be best friends. I think the despair.com demotivator says it best:



Thanks Lisa.

As for hate crimes...I'll have to blog about that tomorrow.

Top 10 Reasons Brandon is Ignoring/Avoiding Lisa

10. He gave Lisa up for Lent.
9. Friends with benefits isn't health insurance. Who knew?
8. There once was a man from Nantucket...and how distracting is THAT!
7. Got in a poo flinging fight with Shatzee. Had to shower. A lot.
6. Ever notice how "six" sounds like "sex" if the person who's saying it is lazy? (giggle...lazy sex.)
5. Franks and Beans! No kidding. Don't get it? Go watch "There's Something About Mary". Long story short (no pun intended), it's something that'll take you out of commission for at least a week.
4. The 80's called. They wanted their over-the-top slapstick humor back. Brandon had to return it.
3. Got caught up in the trial of the century. You know. OJ Simpson. It's big!
2. Donated my heart to a dying school teacher. It killed her. Hiding from the police. "You'll never take me alive, coppers! Mnyah!"

And the number one reason Brandon is Ignoring/Avoiding Lisa is...

1. I'm not friggin' ignoring you OR avoiding you. I love you and wouldn't dream of it. (Also I fear you and wouldn't dare.)

What kind of friend...

...does THIS to her best friend? I am aghast.


(shakes head in despair)


Perhaps she's related to Sarah Palin's daughter?