Poster-Children for Planned Parenthood

I just sold candy to about 4,000 indecisive lunatic gradeschoolers. During regular performances, the theatre's concessions counter has a staff paid specifically to sell concessions. During student matinees, the theatre staff takes the job. Granted we're all still on the clock, but the candy bar we're given as incentive hardly compensates for the post-traumatic stress disorder therapy I'm gonna need. The moment intermission begins, the lobby floods with screaming children who push their way to the counter, demand your attention then start asking inane questions:

Rude Snot-Nosed Brat: "Do you have Reese's?"
Brandon: "Sorry, no. Everything we sell is in this display case."
RSNB: "What about Peanut Butter cups?"
Brandon: "Those are also Reese's. Would you like to pick something from the display case?"
RSNB: "Do you sell Reese's Pieces?"
Brandon: "You've got to be kidding me! Do you see anything you've asked for so far in the display case you're leaning on?"
RSNB: "No."
Brandon: "Good. We have what you see. What would you like."
RSNB: "Um...um...um...Do you have Snicker's with Almonds?"
Brandon: "DO YOU SEE ANY FRIGGIN' SNICKERS WITH ALMONDS?"
RSNB: "Um...no?"
Brandon: "Then what do you think? I'm done with you. Go to the back of the line of 3,999 kids that you pushed in front of and think about what you've seen in the case. If you picked something that we sell by the time you get back up here, I'll think about helping you then. Now go! Alright, who's next? You, miss...what can I get you?"
Oblivious Pre-jailbait Trailer Trash: "Do you have Reese's?"

Seriously, I think I've just cured any desire I have to ever be a parent. Maybe in-school sex education should consist of manning a concessions stand during intermission at a student matinee. "You see these crazy people? Have sex and you'll make another one of them!" Suddenly saving ones self for marriage won't be enough. "No thanks, I'm saving myself for menopause."