A letter to President Monson

This is a letter I sent the day I wrote my letter removing my name from LDS Church records. No apologies...no edits...it is what it is.

November 12, 2008

President Thomas S. Monson
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
50 E. North Temple
Salt Lake City, Utah 84150

Dear President Monson,

I hope this letter finds you well. My name is Brandon Suisse. You might remember my family name from a small branch of the church in Sarnia, Canada during your service there as a mission president. Growing up, I used to love to hear my grandmother speak of the special place you occupy in her heart, both for your service as a mission president and as a general authority. Time and time again, my grandmother spoke of you with deepest reverence and love: cherished traits I learned in large part from her. It is in that spirit of reverence that I write to you today about a matter that I am certain has weighed heavily in the minds and hearts of the brethren – a conflict which, after much heartache and anguish, led me to withdraw from the fellowship of the saints.

In light of recent events, I formally withdrew my name from the records of the Church today, offering up my sincere hope that the Church will find a solution that heals the rift between the children of God suffering on both sides of this conflict. Please know that I bear no animosity or ill will toward the Church or its members. On the contrary, I owe a debt of gratitude for the influence of the Church's teachings and programs in my early development and my relationship with my family.

It will come as no surprise that my decision to withdraw from the Church is based primarily in the church's strained relationship with our gay brothers and sisters. Understanding the position of the Church on the importance family relationships, it breaks my heart that an organization which is responsible for so much good in the world would actively seek to destabilize the family units that our gay brothers and sisters and their children so desperately crave. With all the challenges families of all kinds face, the stabilizing effects of marriage, complete with its legal and social implications as well as its solemn responsibilities, are vital to every family’s well-being. While I am not naïve enough to expect the church to change its stance on homosexuality, I would hope that in the future, for the sake of gay families everywhere, the Church will temper its zeal with compassion and restraint, confining its opposition within the walls of the meetinghouse and keeping it out of the legislative process. That said, I respect your rights to believe and teach as you will regarding homosexuality, and if you truly believe homosexual unions are contrary to God's plan for his children, I will always defend your right to limit the marriages you perform accordingly. It is my sincere hope that one day you will extend the same privilege to the gay community, letting them enter into the institution of civil marriage according to the dictates of their own conscience.

Marriage is a sacred institution, sanctified not only in the churches, but also in the daily lives of its participants. By excluding our gay brothers and sisters from its benefits and responsibilities, I believe that we are and teaching our children that this segment of the population is comprised of souls of lesser worth in the sight of God—His children who are somehow undeserving of His fullest blessings because of how He created them. This does nothing to strengthen the institution of marriage. On the contrary, I fear it will cheapen marriage in the eyes of our children and their children. It does not serve the Church or society to devalue marriage by making it an exclusionist institution. Rather, extending the responsibilities of the marriage vows to the gay community will not only help to stabilize the gay community's familial relationships, but it will also shore up the institution of marriage for future generations who will likely be reluctant to participate in an institution tainted with bias against their gay brothers and sisters.

Please forgive me if anything I have said has carried any tone of disrespect. I am convinced that even perceived disrespect on either side of an issue blocks the avenues of communication, and nothing could be further from the sincerest desires of my heart, especially in this delicate and important matter. If anything I have said has caused offense, please forgive my shortcomings in writing today. Moreover, please accept my deepest gratitude for taking the time to hear me out.

May God bless you for the immeasurable good you have done, and the good you surely will continue to do, in the world. And may God grant us all the patience and respect and insight to deal positively with our differences on this important issue in a way that protects and strengthens all families, gay and straight.


Respectfully