I Like Lists

Perusing my previous posts, I just noticed that a full third involve some kind of numbered list.  If you take out the short posts, that number jumps to nearly half.  That got me thinking.  In everyday conversation we tend to fall into certain patterns of speech.  Stephen Sondheim said that he doesn't compose at the piano because he has that same tendency in his playing and he didn't want it to influence his composing.  And I'm the same way with writing.  I love ellipses... (see?)  And parenthetical expressions.  Maybe it's because my brain is a murky forest with divergent cris-crossing paths and I don't have the patience to stay on one till the point is made.

Oh well...

In honor of my literary crutches, here are three lists Kevin e-mailed to me:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
   
2. Preliminary
   
3. Proliferation
   
4. Cinnamon
   

 

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
   
2. Anti-constitutional
   
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
   
4. Transubstantiate
   

 

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I'm married.
   
2. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
   
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
   
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
   
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
   
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
   
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
   
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
   
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
   
10. Nope, no more booze for me!