Friday, July 25, 2008

Personals

Recently I've become fascinated by the random anonymous dating ads people put online. The internet is a truly remarkable and frightening thing. With all the whack-jobs out there, one has to wonder what percentage of online personals are actually fiction. That's scary. And it got me to thinking. What purpose would a fictitious online personals ad serve? Definitely not to attract someone you're actually going to meet, because the fiction would be obvious at first sight. So what could possibly be accomplished? Nothing good, as far as I can tell. Until now. I think I'm going to start a new brand of fiction. When you go into a library and get a novel off the shelf, you know it's a work of fiction. You check it out because you hope it's an entertaining read. Well, I've decided that personals are the new frontier for fiction, and as such here is my first entry into the world of professional personals fiction:

One-legged former hooker seeks balance in her life. Would like to meet cute midget for the kind of uplifting support I've been lacking since the accident. Please be understanding.

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